WIFE VS. HUSBAND

1. The Silent Treatment...

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each

Other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,

He would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,

'Please wake me at 5:00 AM '

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM

And he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and

See why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by

The bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

2. WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

Neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

The husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep,' the wife replied , 'in-laws''

3. WOMEN'S REVENGE..

'Cash, cheque or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

'So, do you always carry your TV Remote?'

I asked.

'No,' she replied, ' but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

4.. UNDERSTANDING WOMEN..

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,

And still be afraid of a spider...

5. W O R D S..

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

6. CREATION..

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be

So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

' The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me.

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !!!

7. WHO DOES WHAT..

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

Should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, 'You should do it, because you get up first,

And then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.'

The husband said, ' You are in charge of cooking around here and

You should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'

Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible

That the man should do the coffee.'

Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament

And showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says......... ..'HEBREWS'

click here

God may have created man before woman,

But there is always a rough draft before t he masterpiece. .

SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH 

AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT !!!

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Li Fei Er

Li Fei Er is a Chinese cute actress. She was born on 3 October 1984 in Liaoning, China. Her face appeared on many Chinese's TV series such as Tian Di Bu Rong (2009). Her appearance at the launch of the Chinese movie called Rizhao Chongqing city at Cannes Film Festival 2010. Her beautiful smile be pretty much passion.

Golden Globes 2011 Makeup Yawn (for the most part)

This year the Golden Globes red carpet was an assortment of dazzling dresses, pretty colors, and terrific designers. From the gorgeous blue Marchesa on Amy Adams, the fuchsia Lanvin on Julianne Moore, a variety of blush pinks, the exquisite emerald greens on Mila Kunis and Elisabeth Moss, the glittery extravaganza on Olivia Wilde – it was a feast of epic proportions for fashion lovers world wide.

Unfortunately the same novelty or diversity was absent in the makeup department. Star after star walked the red carpet wearing the oft repeated red lipstick or a nude one almost always accompanied by an overdose of mascara or a smokey eye. They all looked very pretty but I, for one was disappointed about the lack of fun and color on their gorgeous faces. May be its time stars realize there is more to makeup than a gilded or smokey eye and a red or nude lip ! May be next time around they will take a more risqué route ? Je wonder...

That being said, here is a medley of the reds vs. the nudes. Do you have a clear favorite?



Love,
Indian Girl

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Your personality. ..when you undress?

Your personality. ..when you undress?

Amazing but true.... How you get undressed reveals your personality ........!!

1) If you throw your clothes all over the place, you are a friendly, life-of-the- party type. You are free with your thoughts and opinions, not caring much about what others think of you. Your parents might think your room looks like a cyclone hit it? But it actually represents your happy, individualistic nature!

2) If you remove each piece of clothing and put it away carefully, you are a serious person who likes her life to be very calm. You are comfortable with routine, and you believe that the best way to deal with life's problems is to prevent them in the first place. You are a perfectionist. By nature you are quite shy. You are bservant and you know more about some people than they think, just because you've watched them. You are dependable and sometimes intense. You think carefully before making decisions. You go about your tasks methodically, with concentration. You know how to pay attention.

3) If you take off the shirt, and ten minutes later get around to the pants, you are an extremely self-confident person. You are naturally bright and intellectual. You are also a deep thinker who loves to ask questions and ponder the meaning of things. You hate being rushed and you do not like to be hassled. Usually you like a lot of free time for yourself.

4) If you get out of your clothes as quickly as possible, you are concerned about others and what they expect from you, but you're worried about your own needs. You are family-oriented, and stay extremely busy. You often feel stressed, but most of those heavy expectations come from your own head! Give yourself a break; you don't have to be perfect.

5) If you take off your rings, earrings, necklace, watch, etcetera before anything else, you are a warm and sensitive person. You are considerate and thoughtful, and you give good advice to your friends. You are a natural born romantic.

6) If you don't have an undressing routine and you never do it the same way twice, you are a very curious and interesting person. You enjoy a broad range of activities. You take risks and enjoy fun and adventure. You are very social.

How Girls turn Guys down!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!

SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?

SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?

SHE: I must have been given your share !

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?

SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!

SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make you very happy

SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?

SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!

HE: Can I have your name?

SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?

SHE: I've already seen it!

HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?

SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck !

HE: Where have you been all my life?

SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

SHE: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?

SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down .

HE: So, what do you do for a living?

SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?

SHE: Do not enter.

God is always with us

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and

time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the

past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone.

She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few

blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep

her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she

decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end

as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round

her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man

and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been

raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have

been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she

decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see

if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the

alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down

and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was

anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone.

She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know

that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God?

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter

what.....and if you stand up 4 him he will stand up for you.

YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING

You are like the diamonds that shine and glisten in my rings,

You are my Angel, you are turly my everything

You are like the fine bubbles in my wine

You are all that I ever have on my mind

You are like a warm summer blowing breeze

You are all my heart will ever need

You are like a shining stars in the sky

You make me feel so loved and alive

You are like a beautiful waterfall that overflows

You are turly in my heart and soul

You are and always be my one and only love

You are like a dream i prayer will be ture

You have no idea how much I'm in love

With you.

You are truly in my heart and soul

I'll Meet You In My Dream

I'll Meet You In My Dream

As I close my eyes and drift off to sleep

I find you in my dreams waiting for me.

I see you in my dreams each and every night,

and you seem so real to me .

I hear you whisper softly come with me my love

as we dance the night away .

I reach for your extended hand and suddenly

a symphony begins to play for just us; the most

beautiful music I have ever heard.

You take me lovely into your arms holding

me as if I were royalty, as we begin

to dance the night away.

Romantically, we gaze into one another's eyes

only seeing the beauty of the love we share.

I then feel a Kiss gently placed

upon my forehead with your tender Lips as

I return a Kiss back placing it on your cheek.

With words spoken

from deep within my heart, I look

directly into your eyes and tell you...

"My Darling, My Knight in shining armor,

My Lover and My Friend,

Will you ever know

how deep my love flows for you? For

I will love you more tomorrow

than I love you today".

For no other can make me feel this way but you.

I Kiss your Lips tenderly once more as

the dawn of the new day quickly arrives as

I softly whisper in your ear.

I must leave you now my darling but

I'll see you in my dreams tomorrow.

~Till We Meet Again~

Goodbye My Love

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A Valentine Prayer

I pray you have

All the love you need and want

Whether it be the romantic kind

The kind we know comes and goes

Sometimes ebbs & flows

Burning in newness

But hopefully simmering into

A lasting comfort

As it ages over time

Or the love of family

The warmth of blood

Of the bonds of kinship

Of belonging

With those whom you travel life

From the dawn of birth

To the dusk of death.