Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Love Relationship - Common Problems and Solutions

No matter how happy a couple is and how compatible 

they are with each other, they will still fight. I know; the 

fact that every couple has relationship problems is little comfort

 when your relationship is going through a rough patch. 

But what does make you feel better is that if others can 

solve their love problems, so can you. In this article, 

I talk about two of the common relationship problems that 

are faced by people and what you can do to handle them.

Most of us have problems getting along with someone in our lives.

 Often times it is with someone that we really want to be close to.

 There are a number of very common relationship problems.

 According to William Glaser M.D., almost all relationship problems 

are the result of a controlling, punishing, 

“I know what’s right for you” mindset. 

 Glaser calls this mindset external control psychology and

 believes it is one of the primary reasons that people are

 unhappy and have failing relationships.

There are all types of relationship problems including the

 ones with marriage. For whatever problem there is a solution.

 Below are some of the most common relationship problems and

 solutions including resources that can help you solve the problem

 and have a better relationship or marriage.

Compatibility:

This is one issue that really needs to be addressed. You can never

 really tell if you are 100% compatible with your partner. 

Compatibility deals with the ease in which two people make

 adjustments towards each other. More often than not couples

 who are compatible get to adjust to one another and this 

compatibility issue helps the couple to get along with each other

 really well. Once there is a problem with compatibility then 

being able to adjust towards each other will be harder thus 

will cause problems in the future.

Communication:

Communication is one of the things that determine the 

success of any relationship and it’s ironic how we always 

take it for granted. Most problems root from poor communication 

skills. Both of you should be honest and the most important 

thing is learn how to listen. Make time or an actual appointment

 with each other. If you live together, put your mobile phones 

on vibrate or let the answering machine pick up your calls if you

 really need to talk and settle an issue.

Commitment:

Because there are lots of things that get our attention and keep

 us busy, we tend to lose focus in the relationship. If you lose 

commitment to the relationship or one another, then this 

could be a big relationship problem. Losing commitment to 

one another is like losing the trust, and love that you have 

given to one another.

Trust:

In a relationship, trust is the fuel that drives the partners

 forward. In an absence of trust, the relationship is bound to

 break up sooner or later. One must understand that there is

 no magic potion that can build trust in a relationship. 

If the partners fail to work out trust in their relationship in 

one way, then they must know that it be done in any other

 way and try alternative ways. Both the partners must work

 in various ways to build the trust and take care of 

their relationship.

Sex:

You might think that sex will never be a problem in a relationship

 because it is something that you both do consensually.

 But even partners who really love each other can be 

incompatible sexually. Sex is actually one act which brings

 a couple closer together. It is an act that makes two bodies

 into one. So if you don’t have sexual chemistry then this

 might be a cause for another to cheat or find someone

 to satisfy their sexual needs.

Money:

Believe it or not, money is one of the most common reasons 

why couples break up or end up in divorce. Relationship experts

 suggest that couples with money woes really need to sit down

 and talk about their finances. Be honest about your present

 financial situation. Do you owe an unbelievable amount in 

your credit card? Do you keep your bills up to date? If things

 are not doing so well for you, you may want to think twice

 in continuing the same lifestyle that you’ve been used to

 before the loss.

If both of you are big spenders, both of you have to be 

dedicated in changing your ways tendencies. Construct a 

joint budget and include savings. Stick to your needs and

 not your wants.

Focus:

When in a relationship, the focus should naturally be on the

 relationship. This is where many people make the mistake.

 Unless the relationship is a priority, it will soon lose its luster.

 There are very few things that one can put above a

relationship. However, when other relationships, friends or 

work start taking precedence over the relationship, then you

 can be sure that grave problems are underlying. Such

 problems can put any relationship to the back burner.

These most common relationship problems are

 revealed in different ways:

* Over involvement in another person’s life

* Constant phone calls, visits, e-mails, etc.

* Requests for attention or acknowledgment

* Jealous or controlling behaviors 

(common relationship fears)

* Withdrawal or extreme guardedness

To minimize these relationship problems in love:

Be aware of your fears! It’s okay to feel fear of intimacy; 

simply knowing that you’re afraid of losing yourself and being

 engulfed by your relationship or family could prevent it from 

happening. When you know what you fear, you’re in a better

 position to deal with it. Accepting that you have a common

 relationship problem will help you solve it.

Express yourself appropriately. If you’re afraid of being 

abandoned, try not to suffocate your loved ones with excessive

 attention or jealousy. Talk about your feelings, write them

 down see a counselor if you’re really struggling. Don’t let 

your relationship problems which are normal dictate 

your behavior or wreck your relationship.

Get educated. Do you have an extreme fear of intimacy or

 fear of abandonment? Find out how to successfully deal with 

change and how to be supportive when your loved ones want

 to change. Read books, seek support groups, or talk to a 

counselor about your relationship problems.

These common relationship problems take some work to

 overcome, but being aware and open to change

 will go a long way.